Star Trek Discovery: Why Tilly is Actually Amazing

I love Star Trek. I grew up watching Next Generation as a family and my whole family loves sci-fi. Recently, with the pandemic going on, we started watching Discovery. This post will probably have some spoilers so if you are concerned about that stop reading, go watch Discovery, and then come back to talk.

Ready? Okay.

One of the things that I heard from Star Trek groups before watching Discovery was a lot of hate for the character of Tilly. The main thing that people seemed to complain about with her was that she was annoying so I went into the show expecting that. I did also want to keep an open mind and form my own opinions about her but I was prepared for her to be a character that would annoy me. Well having watched all of season one and two, I just don't know what people are talking about. I absolutely love Tilly so this is my post to talk about why she is, in fact, one of the most amazing characters on the show.

First I want to address what I am assuming people find annoying about Tilly. She talks a lot especially when she is nervous which is most of the time. She has a happy and bubbly personality. Maybe a little like a puppy. These are the things that I assume people find annoying about her, which to be fair I might find Tilly's personality exhausting for me as an introvert. However, I probably would also be the extremely awkward person in the corner at the party who Tilly would come over and talk to and invite to interact. I am pretty sure she would engage me and try to make me feel welcome and honestly, that would probably make me like her and move past the aspects of her personality that I might find clash with mine. Tilly is the kind of person who would try and make everyone feel welcome. She would see who is feeling awkward or uncomfortable and try to fix it.

The other thing that I love about Tilly is how much she is willing to go out of her way to help her friends and support them. She is a loyal friend. Such as when she was trying to find a way to help Staments with the spore drive. She wanted to find a way for him to not feel trapped as the navigator for the rest of his life. She is willing to reach out to Burnam as a friend when Burnam is feeling isolated. Tilly also helps to build her friends up when it comes to the Queen PO in one episode where she helps her to become strong and step up to her duty to her people. When she meets up with the queen again she recognizes how she has grown and tells her how proud she is of her.

Tilly is also willing to challenge Burnam. Burnam would rather avoid talking about her feelings but Tilly says "I love feeling feelings" and is open about what she is feeling. She practices empathy and connection with others and listens to them. She challenges how they think but does it in a subtle way by asking questions.

Something else that makes Tilly relatable to me is her complete nerdiness. She loves science and will say things like "that's so f*cking cool!" or "That is the power of math, people." She is incredibly smart but sometimes struggles to see herself that way. She isn't bold and being bold and speaking up pushes her outside of her comfort zone. She has the goal to be a captain someday but struggles with the confidence to achieve that goal. Her friends come in and support her and show her her strengths and tell her what will make her a good captain. I can relate to struggling to feel confident even when I know I am capable of doing something and having a goal but not feeling bold. However, having friends and colleagues that support me and show me that I am truly capable and strong and can achieve my goals makes all the difference. Just like with Tilly. 

Lastly, and perhaps this is an odd point, part of why I love Tilly is that she doesn't have the body of a typical Hollywood actress. She is a curvy girl, which is not often seen in sci-fi shows. I am a curvy girl and I really appreciate the representation of seeing someone with a body like mine on a TV show. I can't help but feel some of Tilly's struggles as a character come from not being a skinnier and not fitting a particular mold and that makes her all the more relatable. She is still an awesome and amazing and strong character and not just thin. Perhaps this is a bit of superficial reason but I can't help feeling that I would feel so much more comfortable in my own body during puberty if I had seen more women like Tilly on TV and had the representation of my body.

What are your thoughts or feelings on Tilly?

Make Up & Feminism

I know that sometimes there can be anti-makeup feelings in feminism which I understand. Women being expected to wear makeup to be beautiful for men and to conform to western beauty standards. In some areas of the world, women need to wear makeup in order to be considered dressed "professional" for the workplace. The makeup and beauty industry thrives on the insecurity of women and can create competition and rivalry. It is all a problem and all are issues feminism should address.

However, feminism is much more complicated than just not doing something because it isn't feminist or what have you. wearing makeup is a choice and feminism is about choices. If a woman wants to wear makeup then that is her choice. She makes that choice for her own desire not because she feels she has to or is expected to. The choice is key.

On a different side of the coin, I found that in certain fundamentalist groups makeup was frowned upon. It was seen as a way to lead men into sin. It is something that is vain and a truly godly woman would never wear makeup. I have been in a long term detox from this movement since my family left it and became Orthodox. First I started wearing pants, then shifting my fashion sense and becoming feminist. Now recently in the last year, I started wearing makeup. It is a choice and for me, the choice is a feminist choice. I am making a choice that goes against the patriarchal movement I grew up in.

I will say that I don't do a particularly dramatic makeup look. I favor a more French philosophy and go for a more natural look. I keep it simple, with lipstick, mascara, and brows. Maybe some eyeliner. I like being able to do it quickly and it makes me happy.

What are your thoughts on makeup?

Favorite Reads

I read several books last year but I have to say that my top three favorites were The Savior's Champion, Crooked Kingdom, and Blood Water Paint.

The reason these three I have chosen as my top three favorites from the last year are how they have stood out and how I still think about them.

Crooked Kingdom stood out to be because spoiler it made me cry. I was upset. I still haven't quite got over the ending. It also stood out to me because of the ideas around prejudice and changing one's perspective and ideas about another group of people. The diverse cast of characters is also something I think about a lot. I hold it up as an example of books should be diverse. I hope to read more books with just as many diverse and wonderful characters.

The Savior's Champion stands out to me because mainly that fantastic concent scene. I am still not over it. It just blew me away. It is hard to not be spoiled for any other book and how other author's write about consent. I also really enjoyed the plot of the story and am very excited for the next book the Jenna is writing.

Where to even begin with Blood Water Paint? It is just so unapologetically feminist in every page that I still think about individual quotes. I think about the feminist retellings of Judith and Susanna. I also loved reading Artemesia's voice as she tells her story and the challenges she faced. I loved how the author moved between telling the story in prose and poetry.

What have been your top 3 favorite books from the past year?

No....Sorry Not a Feminist Story

I don't remember where I heard about this story but I was interested in fairytale retellings and this story is a Red Ridinghood retelling. I thought it would be great, there were werewolves which harkens back to some of the oldest versions of the fairytale. It also popped up as being mentioned as a possible feminist read. Honestly, I have never been so disappointed in my life over a book.

Where do I start?

First, let's start with the older sister and her friendship with the 18 almost 20 something-year-old dude. They seemed close it seemed like a logical romantic pairing. But The older sister is disfigured from a werewolf attack as a child. I thought this would be great let's show how disability or conventional beauty doesn't matter. Wrong. Instead at the end of the story, the older sister goes off to happily hunt werewolves by her lonesome. Supposedly this is best for her. I just was so disappointed. Rather than the older sister learning to open up to others and to allow herself to be open to love from another she is just sent off and shooed out of the story to make way for the "real" romantic pairing.

Now we get to the part I really hate. The younger sister. She is around 13 I think in the book and so hyper-sexualized. She also has a crush on the older boy. I say boy but really he is a man a full grown adult. I at first thought okay harmless crush happens. I also as a 13-year-old had crushes on much older dudes but knew nothing would ever happen and that any actual relationship would be wildly inappropriate. Not in this story. Nope. In fact, the two actually "fall in love" with each other. There is no mention whatsoever of the huge age gap or the fact that their relationship is actually illegal in some states. I just could not believe what I was reading.

This book disappointed me on so many levels. It had the opportunity to explore so many much more appropriate and different ideas. I also felt lied to that this would be a feminist read. It was really the opposite.

Healthy Relationships Please

I don't understand this fad to have toxic, abusive, and manipulative relationships in books? I think they are supposed to be so romantic and such but really they are incredibly problematic. I am very tired of reading about them and would very much like to read about a healthy relationship between adults who respect each other.

If what you want is conflict in a relationship you don't have to make it toxic to create conflict. Even healthy relationships have conflict, it is the nature of being in a relationship with another human being. What we need are examples of healthy couples working through conflict with each other. Do I expect partners to treat each other perfectly all the time? No. But do I expect them to own up to their faults and ask forgiveness and work through the issues like adults in a healthy relationship would? Yes.

There are so many examples of unhealthy, toxic, and abusive relationships in media that girls read about and see, and they are told that this is romantic and how they should expect to be treated. I am tired of this. I want to see women in books who stand up to men who are horrible to them and treat them like sh*t. I want them to say that they are better than that and will find better. Girls need examples of women setting boundaries and speaking up for themselves. Boys need to see that treating women horribly isn't acceptable and won't be tolerated.

I mostly want to see examples of healthy relationships in action. How partners would actually treat each other. No emotional manipulation, no controlling behavior, and mutual respect. Is this really to much to ask from writers?

Ruth by Elizabeth Gaskell

I picked this book out from because I loved North & South by Elizabeth Gaskell and had also read Mary Barton. I will say that Ruth was a much more somber a moralistic tale. I think the fact that Elizabeth Gaskell was the wife of a parson and cared deeply about matters of faith comes through in this book.

Ruth is what in Victorian times would be called a "fallen woman". She makes choices that place her in the company of a man who only seeks to use her. The rest of the story is the story of her redemption and repentance. It was interesting for me to read it as a tale of Christian morality in  Victorian England.

It was interesting for me as well to think about it as an Orthodox Christian. Elizabeth Gaskell was protestant belonging to the church of England but there were many ideas that I could agree with.

In a feminist perspective, this novel would not be seen favorably, but I think feminist should still also read it because it can provide a better understanding of women's experiences in the past being a novel about a Victorian woman by a Victorian woman. That in and of itself being a novel by a woman and about women would be interesting to read.

Review: The Savior's Champion

After reading Jenna's first book Eve: The Awakening, I knew I needed to read her next book that was a fantasy novel. I was so pumped for this book and I wasn't disappointed.

This book is so diverse with so many different characters. I adored Tobias. I did want to know a little more about the world this book was taking place in. Like more about the history of the savior and perhaps more about the fictional country, but I am hoping to get more of that in the sequel that Jenna is writing.

My absolute favorite thing about this book though was the consent scene. I didn't know how much I needed to see consent so explicitly written into a story until I read this. I wanted to cry. There wasn't a big deal made about it it just happened. Why do more books not have consent written into them? We need that. this alone puts it onto a feminist reads list.

I will admit that I skimmed the fight scenes. I know Jenna likes to write more gory and intense fight scenes. They are not my thing and not something I go out of my way to find in a book, but the rest of the book is so good that I didn't feel annoyed with those scenes. I just skimmed them for details and then dug into the juicy parts I wanted to sink my teeth into.

On a different note as a dyslexic person, I am so proud of myself for making through a 500-page novel. I never thought that would happen.

Review: The Last Queen

I have not read anything by C. W. Gortner before and while I had heard of Juana La Loca before I had not paid much attention to her. I am extremely disappointed in not look into her story sooner. This book was just wonderful. I originally checked this book out from the library but I loved it so much that I just had to purchase myself a physical copy.

Juana is written as such a relatable character one you so want to succeed and see her be triumphant but I know her story from history and I know how it ends for her. It just broke my heart. I so wanted an ending that was a happily ever after and totally not historically founded.

This book is so well researched and Gortner provides a wonderful historical note of what he did change to make the plot flow better. I always enjoy historical fiction that is well researched much better than poorly researched.

There are a lot of fascinating feminist themes about women and women who were in positions of power historically and how men treated them and how they were undermined. This goes on my list of feminist reads.

This book does come with a trigger warning for sexual assault and domestic violence.

Review: Six of Crows Duology

From my Instagram 

Six of Crows kept popping up in my reading suggestions and I eventually got around to reading it. It was fantastic. I loved the diverse cast of characters and the darker plot I enjoyed as well. I was also very excited about the basis of the country Ravka on Russia.

I think I found Kaz a bit hard to relate to. I enjoy darker stories but I struggle to relate to characters who do not care about other people and only seek to look out for themselves. I cannot relate to them at all and find them incredibly difficult to tolerate. I adore Inej though.

I most related to Nina and her love of food and how she has had to be strong through a lot of difficulties and even how she grows and her own opinions about the world change. She is also bisexual representation. Mathias is a character who grows the most in the second book and I think his character growth is the most interesting and poignant for the times we live in.

Jesper was a fun character and is great for more bisexual and characters of color representation. Wylan is also a great representation of a gay character.

This is a great read for diverse characters and I would put it on a feminist YA must-read list.

The Queen's Rising by Rebecca Ross

I listened to this book on Audible recently and it was fantastic. I was intrigued by the description and picked it up for a free credit.

"Brienna desires only two things: to master her passion and to be chosen by a patron. Growing up in Valenia at the renowned Magnalia House should have prepared her. While some are born with a talent for one of the five passions - art, music, dramatics, wit, and knowledge - Brienna struggled to find hers until she chose knowledge. However, Brienna’s greatest fear comes true: she is left without a patron.

Months later, her life takes an unexpected turn when a disgraced lord offers her patronage. Suspicious of his intent, she reluctantly accepts. But there is much more to his story, for there is a dangerous plot to overthrow the king of Maevana - the rival kingdom of Valenia - and restore the rightful queen, and her magic, to the throne.

With war brewing, Brienna must choose which side she will remain loyal to: passion or blood."

I would say that the Irish/Scottish influence of Maevana drew me in as well as the idea of a "Queens Relm" instead of a kingdom. I will say that the story was very slow moving in the beginning and it took about halfway through for it to actually get interesting and to the point of the plot. It doesn't particularly bother me when a book is slow moving as long as I am in the correct mood. If it is slow moving and I am more wanting something fast then it is not what I want. I did enjoy the set up of the plot and the world building involved.

Overall this book was fantastic and I would highly recommend. If you are looking for a subtle feminist read this book would fall under that description. I don't feel that it needed a sequel but there is one and I am going to read it as well.

Wonder Woman by Leigh Bardugo

If you had told me that this book was written by Rick Riordan and set in the Percy Jackson universe I would have believed you. It felt like a Percy Jackson book and that is probably what I loved most about. Personally, I like to pretend that Wonder Woman is in the same universe as Percy Jackson.

The story is fast paced and moves quickly and told from two perspectives. I think I might have preferred the story to be told entirely from Diana's perspective but I understand why the author chose to tell it from not just hers. We get an outside perspective on Diana and how others see her and that does add some character depth and in the end, did help me to have a better picture of her.

The plot twist was unexpected and there were several unexpected plot twists. I think as far as a feminists perspective there is a diversity of characters and representation. I am not sure there were any particularly strong feminist themes in the novel but I do think it deserves to be on a list of feminist books because there are several female main characters and they are all well written and not just two dimensional.

I honestly wish there was a sequel to this book with another story from Wonder Woman. I want to know if Diana's home struggles are resolved.

Blood, Water, Paint by Joy McCullough

Have you ever read a book that made you feel so much that you want to cry? You feel so passionately about the story and characters that you cannot express? You want to share with others but don't know how? That is what Blood, Water, Paint is for me.

I knew Artemesia's story as I had listened to several podcasts about her life. One from The History Chicks podcast and the other is a podcast from Art Curious that focuses on Artemesia's most famous painting, Judith Slaying Holofernes. I knew the basic plot since the book is told from Artemesia's perspective. I was not prepared for how unapologetically feminist this book was. It took my breath away.

 This book is told primarily through poetry. The sections in poetry are from Artemesia's perspective but there are sections that are in prose. I believe the prose sections are flashes to the past of Artemesia's mother retelling the stories of Suzana and Judith from the Bible. These are not retellings that follow the exact Biblical text but rather a feminist retelling of them. I find it interesting how Suzana and Judith are both stories from the old testament Apocrypha or rather Apocryphal for Protestants. These books are in the Orthodox and Catholic Bibles. 

I want to talk about Suzana and Judith and Artemesia relates to them. For Susana she feels little control over her situation and is taken advantage of by the men around her and her life is controlled by them. Judith takes control of her life she doesn't let men control and destroy her and I don't really feel that Suzana does either but to me the two figures seem to contrast. They are characters through which Artemesia processes what happened to her and understands her life.

Overall I don't think I could ever express my depth of love for this book. I originally checked it out from the library but I will be purchasing a copy to keep forever.

Gloria Steinem and Young Women

Gloria Steinem in a Bill Maher interview when asked about why Clinton's historic campaign is losing votes among young women, she said “I don’t mean to over-generalize … but men tend to get more conservative because they gain power as they age, and women get more radical because they lose power as they age, So it’s kind of not fair to measure most women by the standard of most men, because they’re going to get more activist as they get older,” she added. And when you’re young, you’re thinking, ‘Where are the boys?’ The boys are with Bernie.”


First I would like to point out that she must really not have a very good opinion of young women if she says that young women are not as activist as older women. She needs to visit some college campuses and see the young women who are activists in those communities. The whole idea that women only become more radical as they grow older because they lose power I don't understand. Perhaps at some point, this was true. I especially don't understand why she made this statement when earlier in the interview she said in response to young women be complacent "I don't think that is true. I find the young women very very activist and they are way way more feminist then we were" These two things seem contradictory.

Second I will say this. There are more issues at play than just getting a president who is a woman for the first time. That would be awesome, but there are so many more issues at play. Many of use are concerned about the hundreds of thousands of dollars that we are in debt for going to school. We are concerned about how corrupt our political system is. We are upset by the bailout of the big banks and that Wall Street gets to play with our economy and then walk away without so much as a scratch. Perhaps it would behoove you to ask young activist women what are the issues that they care about?

Thirdly(and this is where I really get pissed off) is her statement connected to boys. Steinem is encouraging people to brush of young women as unimportant and not to be taken seriously. Steinem is perpetuating the idea that young women's thoughts or ideas don't matter and are not valid. By saying that I support Sanders only because I am interested in boys invalidates my opinions and beliefs. Not to mention erases gay women from the picture. This comment by here so sexism and misogynistic I don't even know where to begin. It is so horrifying to hear it coming from a long time feminists mouth.

I am incredibly upset that Steinem has said this as I admire her very much but I don't think Steinem takes my opinions and ideas seriously.

Why be a Feminist?

Do want to fight for equal rights for women? Then you should be a feminist. 

Do you want to end rape culture? Then you should be a feminist. 

Are you concerned about women's health issues? Then you should be a feminist. 

Are you against domestic violence? Then you should be a feminist. 

Do you worry about the effects of hyper-masculine culture? Then you should be a feminist. 

Do you worry about struggles with body image and body shaming? Then you should be a feminist. 

Are you concerned about losing a job because you are pregnant? Then you should be a feminist.

Are you concerned that your gender, race, or religion will affect your ability to get a job? Then you should be a feminist. 

Do you want girls to grow up with role models? Then you should be a feminist. 

Are you concerned about accurate sex education? Then you should be a feminist. 

Do you worry street harassment and cat calling? Then you should be a feminist.  

Are you concerned about the sexualization of women's bodies? Then you should be a feminist. 

Do you worry about girls being told that their bodies are the most important thing about them? Then you should be a feminist. 

Does it upset you that men make up most of the representation in government? Then you should be a feminist. 

Do you worry about the strict gender roles that exist in our culture? Then you should be a feminist. 

Are you concerned about representation in the media? Then you should be a feminist. 

Do you want a better future for others? Then you should be a feminist. 

Feminism and Independence

While arguing with someone about what feminism was they told me that the purpose of feminism was to help women become more independent. That bothered me and at the time I could not figure out why. Now I have figured out why and only wish I could go back in time and tell this person why it was the wrong definition.

The idea of being independent has certain connotations for us. To be independent one must live on their own, be able to support themselves financially, and be able to function without needing another person to be always present. Living on your own means that you can do your own laundry, you are able to cook, and you can clean your living space. Supporting yourself financially means that you are able to get a job and are able to do the job. Not needing another person to be around when you are living is key to our idea of independence. When I hear the word independence this is what I think of. 

I have a sister with disabilities. She is 18 years old but she is developmentally about 7 years old. She is struggling to learn how to read going 2 steps forward and 1 step back. The same for math. We encourage her to do things by herself as much as possible. The day when she was finally potty trained we celebrated, and a few years later when was finally able to go the bathroom without assistance we had a cake to celebrate. She has been able to dress herself for a while now, but sometimes her shirts end up inside out and backward. But the important part is that she is doing it herself and she is getting better at seeing that her clothes are on wrong. We want her to do that. 

Part of my sister's long list of disabilities is her stroke. Her left-hand does not work as well as her right. Because of this, it was only a few months ago that she was able to put both her socks on by herself, we are still learning how to tie shoes. She can't do many things by herself and it is unlikely that she ever will be truly "independent" based on the definition above. I think she can still be as independent as possible and will be cheering for her always. I want to push her towards that. 

I don't want my sister to be excluded from feminism because someone defined independence as women being independent. My sister needs feminism just as much as I do. My sister is still going to deal with gender bias and discrimination. The risk of rape and sexual assault are still just as real for her as they are for me. Certainly, she will experience and has experienced, oppressions I will never understand and can only be an ally to her in. 

My sister will always in some way be dependent on someone. That is not a bad thing. It is just the way life is.

I didn't like the definition that this person gave of feminism because it felt exclusive of my sister. I wish I could have had the words to tell them then but I didn't so I am saying it now. I will always advocate for bell hooks definition that "feminism is the movement to end sexism, sexist exploitation, and oppression.” I want my feminism to be concerned about all forms of oppression and to work to end them. I need my feminism to be inclusive.

(This was originally posted on my feminism blog but I don't like having separate blogs I have tried it a couple of times and it doesn't work for me. So I am posting some posts here that I really want to keep on the web)

Reusable Menstrual Products

All my cups. Eva size 1 & 2, Lunette size 1 and 2, and Skoon size2

I am a menstrual cup convert. It started because I was really done with disposable pads. I have not tried reusable pads and I have heard those feel better than disposables but I don't know. I was interested in a cup because it is something that you can fold up and insert into the vagina and it creates a suction. This means that you can wear it while doing sports like running and swimming and not have to worry about leakage. I was interested in something that would be comfortable to wear and make being on my period a little easier. As well as being cheaper than buying pads all the time and is better for the environment. I also wanted something that was safer to use than a tampon. Hence why I turned to the menstrual cup: better for the environment, better for wallet(when not buying a bunch of them), better for your body, safer for your body(can be fore for up to 12 hours), and just more comfortable.

There is a learning curve. Like how to insert and take out, how to clean. I cut the stems off of all my cups because they sit really low for me and I just don't need the stem.The first cup I bought was to small for my flow, and would move around and would end up sticking out. It was just uncomfortable but I liked the basic idea and I knew the problem was the cup itself. so I tried the Eva. It was great but on my heavy days I was changing it a lot and that doesn't work for when you have a set class schedule very well.   Next I turned to the Lunette size two. That cup changed my life, I mean cups have changed my life in general but this cup was AMAZING. It just worked with my body so well. I loved it so much I bought the size 1, which also works great.

I wanted to try the bell shape and I also wanted to see if I could find an even better overnight cup so I tried the Skoon cup size two. I had heard it was great for people whose cups sit lower and good for heavy flow. Honestly, the bell shape doesn't work so great for me. The V shape is just better on my body I am not sure why. The Other two Eva cups I got for free passed out at my school as part of a sustainability project. Eva had changed the feeling of the cups material and I wanted to give it another go. after two cycles with those I have to say they are pretty great. I will do a post comparing specifically the Eva and Lunette cups later.

small cups and large cups

A list seems the best way to share the things that cups have made better about my period life. So here goes:

• I sleep better with cups on my period. I am always more tired on my period and add to that when I wore pads I would always sleep really light because I was adjusting to make sure I didn't leak. Now I don't worry about that and I sleep so much better because of it. 
• I get a little excited when my period comes to use my cups. Basically they give me something to look forward to on my period.
• Knowing my body. I have learned so much about the female body in general from researching menstrual cups and by using a cup have also learned a lot about my own body. 
• Becoming more confident. Something about using a cup has made me more confident about myself. It has been a really empowering experience overall. 
• Cramps. So the first 3ish periods on the cup were a little hellish. The cramps were just awful, but now that my body has gotten used to the cups the cramps have actually subsided to being less sever than when I used disposable pads. 

I love menstrual cups so much I knew I needed to write a post or two about them. I am always down to talk about cups. 

Have a great day!

Riley & Buffy Make me Uncomfortable

I have recently gotten into Buffy the Vampire Slayer and if you are familiar with the show you know that Buffy has a few different serious relationships throughout the show. This can of course lead to the shipping wars. There are those who ship Buffy/Angel, Buffy/Riley, and Buffy/Spike. I have not don't have a particular camp that I hang out in as I think there are positive and negative aspects to all the relationships and there are definitely unhealthy aspects to them. However, as far as annoying my feminist and setting off warning bells in my head Riley was the main one. You would think the Vampire ones would but they don't have the subtle misogyny that comes out in Riley.

Riley is a sweet genuinely nice guy. His is cute and charming overall there is really nothing to complain about. He is the kind of guy that you would want to bring home to mom. In that sense I like him. However when he finds out that Buffy is the Slayer and that she is stronger than him he does a classic white male reaction. He is ego is threatened he questions his masculinity and he puts all of this on Buffy and makes her have to deal with it when she cannot help who she is or how he reacts to it.

Riley is also a little obnoxiously determined that it is his duty as Buffy's boyfriend to protect her even though she tells him she does not need it and that what he is doing is actually more of a hindrance to her because she is afraid he will get hurt. He is so stuck in the ideas that he is the male protector and has to do his job that he cannot see Buffy as the strong independent very very not damsel-in-distress that she is. He is unwilling to see her as someone who is able to defend herself without his needing to save her. Buffy is willing to work in a side-by-side fighting relationship with him but Riley can't move past his own issues to be that.

Riley says that why he behaves the way he does is because he loves her and does not want her to get hurt and this is a clever disguise for his own misogynistic attitudes because we all want someone who loves us and wants to protect us. But that is not what Buffy wants, what she really wants and needs is a partner who sees her as an equal and not as a damsel that needs to be protected. Riley's attitude holds Buffy back as she tries to make the relationship work and cater to Riley's male ego. I think despite how great a guy Riley is and how like-able he is, his relationship with Buffy is not good for her. I was not sad or sorry when Riley left and was a little relieved that I would not have to listen to his delicate male ego being bruised by Buffy being the Slayer anymore.

Stereotyped Strong Female Characters with Moffat

images Copy Write BBC

I am a big fan of Doctor Who and Sherlock. Both of which are shows that involve Steven Moffat. I find that Moffat is talented in coming up with brilliant ideas however the execution and writing of them do not turn out as well as they could. I am in some ways a fan of him because of that brilliance, but that does not mean I don't have some big issues with some of his writing. In particular his writing of women and so called "strong female characters."

I have chosen the compare four of his most well known strong female characters: Amy Pond, River Song, Irene Adler, and Clara Oswald. Please know that while I am strongly criticizing these characters I have a very strong love for several of them. Particularly Amy Pond(read my post) and River Song. One can enjoy and like something and still be critical. 

 Let us start with the one major flaw that unites all of these women. Their characters plot lines all are dependent on male characters. Amy's story is wrapped up in the Doctor from childhood, River was basically born for the Doctor to kill him/marry him. Irene exists to challenge Sherlock Holmes and cause him problems. Irene has no backstory about who she is and where she is from she is solely there for Sherlock Holmes. Clara, oh Clara, you are as the Doctor puts is "his impossible girl" that is all that your character exists for to be impossible to the Doctor, and as Clara says was "born to save the Doctor." All of these strong female characters are not actually strong. If they were strong they would have much more independent stories/lives from the male characters. Their existence in the story would not be to aid the story of the main male character. Rather they would have their own stories and background separate from that of the male characters and their stories would exist not for the male characters but rather as a co-story with them. I think it is significant that Sherlock and the seasons 5-7 of Doctor Who do not do well on the Bechdal test. (Moffat has done much better in season 8) His so called strong Female characters would fall apart if we were to remove the male characters. 

Not only are these characters unable to stand on their own with out the male characters, they also may as well be the same character. River and Irene are both intellectual women who are shown to be able to be on the same level as the intelligent male counter part. They are both geniuses. Strong female characters do not need to be geniuses in order to be strong characters. IQ does not make a strong character. All four women can be considered to have higher than average intelligence, but most especially River and Irene. 

All four of these women are quick witted and all make quips. They all think fast on their feet. They all love the danger and thrive it. You could blend Irene and River together and have a character that would not be inconsistent in anyway. The same could be done with Amy and Clara.These traits that they all share as characters are good traits, but the fact that all of Moffat's major female characters share these traits is a little disturbing. It is like he has the same base for a female character and just adds a little something different to each but at their core they are all the same. They are not individuals.

Moffat seems to have this stereo typed strong female character in his head. His idea of a strong female character is a women who has a high IQ, can keep up with the male characters, loves danger, thinks fast, can make quips, and have witty dialogue. That is not what makes a strong female character. Strong female characters are women who are all unique have strengths and weaknesses. They have an independent story. Strong female characters are like normal women. They don't need to be larger than life(though certainly those larger than life characters are enjoyable). They don't need to stand out in a crowd. They just have to be themselves. Women are diverse in so many ways and the strong women of today are not all the same. Strong female characters in media should be just as diverse. 

Moffat does not know how to create strong female characters. He only knows how to create archetypes of characters that are based on stereotypes/what he thinks these archetypes should be. His so called strong female characters lack the verity in characteristics and basically no character independence thereby making them not true strong female characters. Strong female characters are well developed characters, unique personalities, unique characteristics, are very much like women you meet in real life, and have no story line dependence on the male characters.

Being Body Positive in a Victoria's Secret World

I am sure every girl out there struggles with their body image. I have,do, and will probably for the rest of my life. It seems to be our lot in life as a girls to constantly worry about our image, which is a product of society and culture that tells us our entire worth is derived from how hot, sexy, and sexually appealing we look. We are constantly bombarded with media and ads that tell us if we use this makeup brand, or this lotion, or this diet, or this what-ever-product we will finally achieve what society has deemed to be beautiful. This is all a lie of course because our natural bodies cannot achieve something that is a) un-achievable for most female bodies and b) completely artificial.

Copy Write of Victoria's Secret

I like to call this the "Victoria's-Secret-Beauty-Image." Why? Because it seems like all their models look perfectly like what Hollywood and the media have set up as the ideal beauty. They are thin, still have larger breasts, and most of all have the sex appeal for men. Which is mostly cause by body type, photo shop, and quite possibly unhealthy dieting.

However not only do we have companies projecting this image of what the ideal beauty is but we see it among stars. I know when I watch television or look at singers I want to see girls whose bodies look like mine however there are hardly any. This ideal image of beauty is so deeply saturated our culture that women who don't fit this mold are forced to change their bodies or are not allowed in to the industry. Why is there a lack of diversity in female body type? And when and actress is more "normal" sized she is ridiculed by the media as "fat." These messages trickle down very far and to the very young.

Photoshop is something that has become so common in changing how people look in the pictures that are used. Many people have commented on how unrealistic the changes that are make are. When a person looks nothing like their picture in a magazine there is something wrong. When we change them to look nothing like themselves we tell people that they are not beautiful the way that they are. That they are lacking and must be changed.

Me senior year of highschool and me sophomore year of college.

I was already concerned about my weight and tummy by the time I was at least 9. At the age of 12 I finally realized that the "Victoria's-Secret-Body" was quite frankly unattainable for my body. I could lose so much weight to the point of being unhealthy and still not attain it. Short of having multiple surgeries involving completely changing my bone structure and body it was completely impossible. I am just not built to look like that.

Once I had reached this conclusion I decided to just move on there was nothing I could do about. I think my personality of "just-get-over-it-and-move-on" is beneficial for me in this place. However, I could certainly have chosen to obsess about it let it press down on me. There are so many girls out there who struggle with body image who don't deal well with it. Young girls realize very early that there are expectation on their body and how they should look. I still struggle though. Sometimes I look in the mirror and wish that I could just somehow magically lose the fat in my stomach and thighs. Sometimes when I am out shopping I look at pictures and start to make a list in my head about how I don't look like them. I know when I go cloths shopping I don't like to admit that I can't wear a size small in any brand.

I can't say that there is any true solution to becoming body positive. I can give some suggestions. Make the choice to want to be body positive. Focus your good things. Document days when you are feeling beautiful to look back on and remind yourself of that feeling. Make a list of things about your body that you see as beautiful and why. Such as "I love my freckles because I think they make me look cute." Little things add up. When I have thoughts about comparing myself to others I try to remember that my body is nothing like their body and comparisons should not be made.

We need more visual images of a diversity of body types. I know there are many movements for this but we need to see so much more. You can all make s difference by supporting companies that do this. We have power as consumers to change the world. We can speak up more about wanting to see better representation and speak out against the use of Photoshop to change a persons body. We also need to be more open and honest about our own body struggles. Let's be honest being body positive in a Victoria's-Secret-World is hard and it sucks.

What are your body positive struggles? How do you combat them?

Book Review: Feminism is For Everybody

Title: Feminism is for Everybody
Author: bell hooks
Published: 2000
Rating: 4/5

This is a nice book to read if you want an broad overview of feminism in a nut shell. Which is the purpose of this book along with showing why everyone needs feminism not just women. I found it to be helpful as a book to get me into feminist literature.

Hooks also brings up in this book points about where much of feminism is lacking and needs to grow. Most importantly the need to include conversations about race and sexuality. She talks about how we need inter-sectional feminism.

I would highly recommend it to anyone looking for an intro book to feminism. There is only one thing that I didn't like about this and is the reason it gets a 4/5 instead of 5/5. This book was written to be easily read by non-academic lay people. I feel that this book is still very academic in writing style. As I have not had a lot of experience reading academic writing, it was a little difficult to read at times. I think it was much harder to relate to what was written even though I agreed with a lot of what she said.

Overall this was a great book that was well written and a wonderful goal, but the execution did not quite meet what I think the author wanted it to exactly. I would highly recommend it to anyone to read.