Star Trek Discovery: Why Tilly is Actually Amazing

I love Star Trek. I grew up watching Next Generation as a family and my whole family loves sci-fi. Recently, with the pandemic going on, we started watching Discovery. This post will probably have some spoilers so if you are concerned about that stop reading, go watch Discovery, and then come back to talk.

Ready? Okay.

One of the things that I heard from Star Trek groups before watching Discovery was a lot of hate for the character of Tilly. The main thing that people seemed to complain about with her was that she was annoying so I went into the show expecting that. I did also want to keep an open mind and form my own opinions about her but I was prepared for her to be a character that would annoy me. Well having watched all of season one and two, I just don't know what people are talking about. I absolutely love Tilly so this is my post to talk about why she is, in fact, one of the most amazing characters on the show.

First I want to address what I am assuming people find annoying about Tilly. She talks a lot especially when she is nervous which is most of the time. She has a happy and bubbly personality. Maybe a little like a puppy. These are the things that I assume people find annoying about her, which to be fair I might find Tilly's personality exhausting for me as an introvert. However, I probably would also be the extremely awkward person in the corner at the party who Tilly would come over and talk to and invite to interact. I am pretty sure she would engage me and try to make me feel welcome and honestly, that would probably make me like her and move past the aspects of her personality that I might find clash with mine. Tilly is the kind of person who would try and make everyone feel welcome. She would see who is feeling awkward or uncomfortable and try to fix it.

The other thing that I love about Tilly is how much she is willing to go out of her way to help her friends and support them. She is a loyal friend. Such as when she was trying to find a way to help Staments with the spore drive. She wanted to find a way for him to not feel trapped as the navigator for the rest of his life. She is willing to reach out to Burnam as a friend when Burnam is feeling isolated. Tilly also helps to build her friends up when it comes to the Queen PO in one episode where she helps her to become strong and step up to her duty to her people. When she meets up with the queen again she recognizes how she has grown and tells her how proud she is of her.

Tilly is also willing to challenge Burnam. Burnam would rather avoid talking about her feelings but Tilly says "I love feeling feelings" and is open about what she is feeling. She practices empathy and connection with others and listens to them. She challenges how they think but does it in a subtle way by asking questions.

Something else that makes Tilly relatable to me is her complete nerdiness. She loves science and will say things like "that's so f*cking cool!" or "That is the power of math, people." She is incredibly smart but sometimes struggles to see herself that way. She isn't bold and being bold and speaking up pushes her outside of her comfort zone. She has the goal to be a captain someday but struggles with the confidence to achieve that goal. Her friends come in and support her and show her her strengths and tell her what will make her a good captain. I can relate to struggling to feel confident even when I know I am capable of doing something and having a goal but not feeling bold. However, having friends and colleagues that support me and show me that I am truly capable and strong and can achieve my goals makes all the difference. Just like with Tilly. 

Lastly, and perhaps this is an odd point, part of why I love Tilly is that she doesn't have the body of a typical Hollywood actress. She is a curvy girl, which is not often seen in sci-fi shows. I am a curvy girl and I really appreciate the representation of seeing someone with a body like mine on a TV show. I can't help but feel some of Tilly's struggles as a character come from not being a skinnier and not fitting a particular mold and that makes her all the more relatable. She is still an awesome and amazing and strong character and not just thin. Perhaps this is a bit of superficial reason but I can't help feeling that I would feel so much more comfortable in my own body during puberty if I had seen more women like Tilly on TV and had the representation of my body.

What are your thoughts or feelings on Tilly?

Liturgical Calendar

With everything that has been happening with COVID-19 in the world, it has highlighted even more how important the structure of a liturgical service and calendar are in providing stability.

I have generalized anxiety that has gone up and down over the years but I have noticed it gets worse when my life lacks structure and stability. Such as when I worked a job that had very inconsistent shift times week to week. However, I have always held on to the fact that when I go to an Orthodox church service I know the structure of the service and what will happen. I am familiar with the hymns and prayers I feel a sense of peace, comfort, and stability with this. Not only with the services themselves, but also with the liturgical calendar. It is a predictable structure of the year. I know when feast days are, when fasting periods are, and particular saint's days. I appreciate also the level of structure that happens in monasteries and how they structure regular prayer time, while not something that I as a layperson have used or implemented I appreciate the daily structure that it can provide.

What amazes me even more than just the peace and comfort that the liturgical structure and calendar provide for me personally is how it has impacted communities in the past. I took a Medieval Christianity class in undergrad and my professor talked about how churches and monasteries would ring bells during services to let people know they were being prayed for while they were out working. This would have been so powerful to think about how others are praying for the life of the world even when you cannot but also provides a kind of schedule structure to the day and the community. Feast days also would have played an important role in communities and church parishes were a center for village life. I can only imagine how in the Medieval period when things were chaotic the kind of peace and comfort liturgical structure brought to people.

Lastly, when I participate in a liturgical calendar and structure I feel strongly that I am not alone. There are so many other people involved in that same service in the past, present, and future. Which is part of Orthodox theology that liturgy takes place outside of space and time.

Much love and prayers for you all

Classism, Unions, And North & South

I love North & South. I first watched the 2005 miniseries and then I read the book. I love both versions and think the miniseries conveyed the essence of the novel very well. What most intrigued though when I first watched the show wasn't the romance. Not that the romance didn't interest me or wasn't good, but it wasn't what made North & South just top notch. What made me love North & South was the discussion of labor unions and conversations about class.

If you are unfamiliar with North & South it is set in Milton during the industrial revolution. Specifically, Milton is a town that is made up of multiple cotton mills that are run by a few rich men and then most of the lower classes work for them. The conflict that happens in the book is that mill workers go on strike specifically facilitated by the union leader Nicolas Higgins. The strike is eventually broken but the mill owners are wary of those involved in the union and specifically the leaders. Eventually, Nicolas Higgins and Mr. Thornton (main male protagonist) come to see eye to eye and understand each other. Mr. Thornton is made to better understand the plight of the workers and Higgins becomes less of a radical union leader.

That Higgins seems to compromise his beliefs about workers rights in favor of supporting "masters" more irks me. I can theorize that Elizabeth Gaskell wouldn't want to incite any strong communist leanings and could probably be understood and more of a centrist. She wanted "masters" to treat laborers better but laborers should know their place in society.

As a young teenager, I didn't particularly understand the labor movement or the purpose but reading this book helped me to understand the labor movement and the need for workers rights. That the "masters" lived in luxury and style while their workers struggled to survive in cesspits of filth is abominable. That the "masters" also willfully ignore their worker's struggles and don't listen to the idea that well-fed and well-treated workers make for an overall better profit is frustrating. The themes and ideas from this novel are still relevant today in a society that is more and more anti-union and anti-workers rights.

Gloria Steinem and Young Women

Gloria Steinem in a Bill Maher interview when asked about why Clinton's historic campaign is losing votes among young women, she said “I don’t mean to over-generalize … but men tend to get more conservative because they gain power as they age, and women get more radical because they lose power as they age, So it’s kind of not fair to measure most women by the standard of most men, because they’re going to get more activist as they get older,” she added. And when you’re young, you’re thinking, ‘Where are the boys?’ The boys are with Bernie.”


First I would like to point out that she must really not have a very good opinion of young women if she says that young women are not as activist as older women. She needs to visit some college campuses and see the young women who are activists in those communities. The whole idea that women only become more radical as they grow older because they lose power I don't understand. Perhaps at some point, this was true. I especially don't understand why she made this statement when earlier in the interview she said in response to young women be complacent "I don't think that is true. I find the young women very very activist and they are way way more feminist then we were" These two things seem contradictory.

Second I will say this. There are more issues at play than just getting a president who is a woman for the first time. That would be awesome, but there are so many more issues at play. Many of use are concerned about the hundreds of thousands of dollars that we are in debt for going to school. We are concerned about how corrupt our political system is. We are upset by the bailout of the big banks and that Wall Street gets to play with our economy and then walk away without so much as a scratch. Perhaps it would behoove you to ask young activist women what are the issues that they care about?

Thirdly(and this is where I really get pissed off) is her statement connected to boys. Steinem is encouraging people to brush of young women as unimportant and not to be taken seriously. Steinem is perpetuating the idea that young women's thoughts or ideas don't matter and are not valid. By saying that I support Sanders only because I am interested in boys invalidates my opinions and beliefs. Not to mention erases gay women from the picture. This comment by here so sexism and misogynistic I don't even know where to begin. It is so horrifying to hear it coming from a long time feminists mouth.

I am incredibly upset that Steinem has said this as I admire her very much but I don't think Steinem takes my opinions and ideas seriously.

Being Body Positive in a Victoria's Secret World

I am sure every girl out there struggles with their body image. I have,do, and will probably for the rest of my life. It seems to be our lot in life as a girls to constantly worry about our image, which is a product of society and culture that tells us our entire worth is derived from how hot, sexy, and sexually appealing we look. We are constantly bombarded with media and ads that tell us if we use this makeup brand, or this lotion, or this diet, or this what-ever-product we will finally achieve what society has deemed to be beautiful. This is all a lie of course because our natural bodies cannot achieve something that is a) un-achievable for most female bodies and b) completely artificial.

Copy Write of Victoria's Secret

I like to call this the "Victoria's-Secret-Beauty-Image." Why? Because it seems like all their models look perfectly like what Hollywood and the media have set up as the ideal beauty. They are thin, still have larger breasts, and most of all have the sex appeal for men. Which is mostly cause by body type, photo shop, and quite possibly unhealthy dieting.

However not only do we have companies projecting this image of what the ideal beauty is but we see it among stars. I know when I watch television or look at singers I want to see girls whose bodies look like mine however there are hardly any. This ideal image of beauty is so deeply saturated our culture that women who don't fit this mold are forced to change their bodies or are not allowed in to the industry. Why is there a lack of diversity in female body type? And when and actress is more "normal" sized she is ridiculed by the media as "fat." These messages trickle down very far and to the very young.

Photoshop is something that has become so common in changing how people look in the pictures that are used. Many people have commented on how unrealistic the changes that are make are. When a person looks nothing like their picture in a magazine there is something wrong. When we change them to look nothing like themselves we tell people that they are not beautiful the way that they are. That they are lacking and must be changed.

Me senior year of highschool and me sophomore year of college.

I was already concerned about my weight and tummy by the time I was at least 9. At the age of 12 I finally realized that the "Victoria's-Secret-Body" was quite frankly unattainable for my body. I could lose so much weight to the point of being unhealthy and still not attain it. Short of having multiple surgeries involving completely changing my bone structure and body it was completely impossible. I am just not built to look like that.

Once I had reached this conclusion I decided to just move on there was nothing I could do about. I think my personality of "just-get-over-it-and-move-on" is beneficial for me in this place. However, I could certainly have chosen to obsess about it let it press down on me. There are so many girls out there who struggle with body image who don't deal well with it. Young girls realize very early that there are expectation on their body and how they should look. I still struggle though. Sometimes I look in the mirror and wish that I could just somehow magically lose the fat in my stomach and thighs. Sometimes when I am out shopping I look at pictures and start to make a list in my head about how I don't look like them. I know when I go cloths shopping I don't like to admit that I can't wear a size small in any brand.

I can't say that there is any true solution to becoming body positive. I can give some suggestions. Make the choice to want to be body positive. Focus your good things. Document days when you are feeling beautiful to look back on and remind yourself of that feeling. Make a list of things about your body that you see as beautiful and why. Such as "I love my freckles because I think they make me look cute." Little things add up. When I have thoughts about comparing myself to others I try to remember that my body is nothing like their body and comparisons should not be made.

We need more visual images of a diversity of body types. I know there are many movements for this but we need to see so much more. You can all make s difference by supporting companies that do this. We have power as consumers to change the world. We can speak up more about wanting to see better representation and speak out against the use of Photoshop to change a persons body. We also need to be more open and honest about our own body struggles. Let's be honest being body positive in a Victoria's-Secret-World is hard and it sucks.

What are your body positive struggles? How do you combat them?

Historic Day

I feel is would be remiss of me to not post about the Supreme Court decision on gay marriage. It made me so happy to open my facebook and see all the posts. I don't think I can put it into words. Now there are equal marriage rights for all.

I know a lot of religious people are upset about it. However, I know that it is prohibited by certain groups. I think that what needs to be understood is that everyone can get a civil union that gives all equal rights, but the holy sacrament is part of the church. I believe in the separation of church and state. We do not live in a christian nation therefore rules that apply to christians to not need to be forced onto those who are not.

Overall I am so happy that the gay couples I know that now have equal rights across the US. However, as some have pointed out, LGBT+ issues are not over with this and there are many other issues. Such as job discrimination, abuse, youth homelessness, and conversion therapy that still need to be dealt with.

Get ready for some ranting.

I saw this list list of things you want to tell a teenage girl. Some of them were wise and others were annoying, oh but nothing compares to the first one. That one really made me mad. I was going to write a really long comment but instead I am writing a blog post about why this statement really got under my skin.

“1. If you choose to wear shirts that show off your boobs, you will attract boys. To be more specific, you will attract the kind of boys that like to look down girls’ shirts. If you want to date a guy who likes to look at other girls’ boobs and chase skirts, then great job; keep it up. If you don’t want to date a guy who ogles at the breasts of other women, then maybe you should stop offering your own breasts up for the ogling. All attention is not equal. You think you want attention, but you don’t. You want respect. All attention is not equal.”

Here is my issue. Everyone is always telling girls that they need to dress more modestly to protect themselves, protect men and a load of other reasons, believe me I have heard them all.

My issue is that this post is telling women they have to change to be respected instead of say "hey guys those breasts are attached to a real person who deserves to have the respect given to a human being," no instead we tell girls all the things they have to to to protect themselves. That is not going to solve the problem. 
Here is a news flash people. How you dress will not change how much you are cat called and how much guys will stare at you. I was wearing a very modest outfit(short-ish skirt with leggings, shirt with tank under, and a sweater) I was outside at school studying psych when a bunch of guys came and started making a lot of racket and running around. There was another girl I didn’t know not far from where I was sitting. These guys started calling us pretty girls and beautiful girls(not in a way that felt very complimentary), once swore at us about interrupting our study time. Now I was not dressed to ask for attention I was dress in a way that I think the above statement would say require respect, but was I respected. No. Why? Because these guys did not see me as a person to respect and how I dressed was not going to change that.

So here is my idea we tell people that women and girls are people who deserve respect for being a human being with thoughts, feelings, and intelligence, not to mention they are made in the image of God as well. How they dress is irrelevant to how much respect you get. Period. To paraphrase Dr. Seuss a person is a person no matter what they wear.

I have been in the very extreme modest camp. It does not sound like they are objectifying women but they are. They are just doing more subtlety. You have to cover yourself because your body is such a sexual thing that men cannot control their actions or thoughts around you so you must change for them. Really? Guys are humans they are people. Why do people not get upset when a guy goes around without a shirt on it can be just as dangerous for a woman’s mind in that situation. So why are women forced to change how they dress to protect a man’s thoughts but men are not forced to change to protect a woman’s? I call double standard.
I am so angry at our culture and society right now. I think I will go write about Frozen or something happy. Thanks for reading my rant. I would love to hear your thoughts about this.

Love
~Elizabeth
oh P.S. Click this picture to check out an interesting article about modesty and objectification and the connection between the two.

The Homeschool vs. Public School Struggle.

(This picture was taken my a wonderful friend of mine at school)

I have never felt ashamed of the fact that I was homeschooled(I get to use the past tense now!) and if I ever am it is only because I am ashamed of other homeschooler stupidity and rudeness. The fact that I was homeschooled is a huge part of my identity how I see myself. It doesn’t mean I see myself as hugely different form society rather only that I have a more different style of education.

That doesn’t mean that I have not had negative experiences from being homeschool, there are several. I remember when I was little maybe 6 years old I told it to some neighbor boys and they seemed to think that maybe I was stupid because I didn’t go to school like them. At the time I found it hurtful and from then on avoided the other kids in the neighborhood. Later however I could not avoid when they came and talked to me one girl it seemed delighted in making fun of us in front of my sisters and I and she seemed to think we were too stupid to understand that was what she was doing. It got to the point where I would make some excuse to stop riding my bike and go in the house when ever she came down to our part of the neighborhood. I was not sure how to deal with it as I was only 9 or 10. Because of all these negative experiences as a child I came up with a stereo type that public schooled kids were rude, mean, and stupid.
Later when my family left our old church(where 99 % of the population was homeschoolers) and started going to our current church I met public schooled kids(and private school) who seemed to be much nicer. I was still wary of them but as I got to know them and be friends with them I found my stereo type to be wrong. Which I was secretly relieved about because I didn’t want to go through my life having to deal with people being mean to me all the time.
That does not mean unpleasant experiences have stopped. At a birthday party for a friend I was asked the inevitable question that I loathed “where do you go to school?” and I replied with the answer that gets mixed reception “Oh, I don’t go to school I am homeschooled.” After that these two girls didn’t want to talk to me and avoided me for the rest of the party.
In college I have found that less people really seem to be bothered by where I got my education. They seem to be more open to homeschooling and even find it cool. One friend told me I was lucky because I had not had to deal with the bullying and other crap she had had to deal with in her school. There was one guy who I don’t think realized how rude he was being when he told me that I must have hated being homeschooled and how horrible it must have been for me. It really ruffled my feathers that he assumed I must have had a negative experience when really I had a positive one. However most of my friends have found it to be cool and don’t think I am a weirdo, or at least I am no weirder than they are. They really don’t actually care about where I got my education but rather whether my education was a good one.
Homeschooling gave me a chance to really focus and work on my weaknesses and explore my strengths. I worked hard at school in high school because I enjoyed it. I love learning and school. Lots of people sometimes assume that because I was homeschooled I had loads of free time. I really didn’t I worked on school for 6 to 7 hours a day. Maybe I did have more free time than my peers who went to school because homework does not work the same way when you are homeschooled, but that does not mean I didn’t work as hard.
Granted there are homeschoolers who’s necks I want to wring sometimes because they really are not doing the work and don’t seem to care about their education. I really get mad about homeschoolers who don’t really do school. It makes me so mad! They could have the best education they could possibly want but they are not doing the work! Words cannot express how frustrated and angry it makes me.
Back to homeschooler vs. publicschooler.
I think a lot of my negative experiences have to do with negative stereo types about homeschooled kids. I think most of them just don’t know what it really is and so they don’t know how to relate to us. I think kids are more prone to snub others who are not like them than adults are. At least that is the what I think based on my experience in college. I wish that homeschoolers would stop stereo typing publicschoolers, and publicschoolers would stop stereo typing homeschoolers then we could all sit down and find we are not so different after all.
I know I have a few homeschool followers and public school. How has your experience as a homeschooler been? Or for my public school friends what has your experience with homeschoolers been?
Lots of love!
~Elizabeth