Healthy Relationships Please

I don't understand this fad to have toxic, abusive, and manipulative relationships in books? I think they are supposed to be so romantic and such but really they are incredibly problematic. I am very tired of reading about them and would very much like to read about a healthy relationship between adults who respect each other.

If what you want is conflict in a relationship you don't have to make it toxic to create conflict. Even healthy relationships have conflict, it is the nature of being in a relationship with another human being. What we need are examples of healthy couples working through conflict with each other. Do I expect partners to treat each other perfectly all the time? No. But do I expect them to own up to their faults and ask forgiveness and work through the issues like adults in a healthy relationship would? Yes.

There are so many examples of unhealthy, toxic, and abusive relationships in media that girls read about and see, and they are told that this is romantic and how they should expect to be treated. I am tired of this. I want to see women in books who stand up to men who are horrible to them and treat them like sh*t. I want them to say that they are better than that and will find better. Girls need examples of women setting boundaries and speaking up for themselves. Boys need to see that treating women horribly isn't acceptable and won't be tolerated.

I mostly want to see examples of healthy relationships in action. How partners would actually treat each other. No emotional manipulation, no controlling behavior, and mutual respect. Is this really to much to ask from writers?

Sisters and Berets

During the winter I became obsessed with crocheting berets. I think they are super cute and fashionable. I love this particular pattern I found because it creates a braided look. I did end up modifying it to look more the way I wanted it too.

I ended up making a hat for my little sister as well. I had to drastically change the pattern to fit her head size since her head is smaller. I am not sure it turned out quite as well as I wanted it to but she loves it and that is what matters.

Sometimes as sisters we do not always get along. We get frustrated with each other but in the end, we love each other very much. She is the one I watch Merlin and Pride and Prejudice with. She is always excited about the little things with me.

She is also my sister with disabilities. This makes things hard sometimes. When I want to take her out and do sister things with her I notice if there is an accessibility issue. She uses a wheelchair and I have to make sure she can move through space. We recently took a sister trip to Ulta and I don't know if it is just the Ulta I was at or all Ulta's but there wasn't a push button to open the door. I also noticed that the spacing in the isles makes it hard for a wheelchair to move. My sister is in a small child size wheelchair but a full-sized adult one or some of the motorized wheelchairs would have a lot of difficulties moving through the store. It made me think about who our society deems worthy to be considered beautiful and who is allowed to access the beauty products and industry.

Review: Middlemarch

I first watched the BBC production of Middlemarch and was fascinated by the story. It intrigued me enough that I knew I would want to read the book eventually. However, I found the size of the book and that it was a classic to be a bit of a problem. I struggle with really long classical books (see Charles Dickens).

As I have said before I started and Audiobook journey and this was one of the books I picked up to listen too. It did not disappoint. I greatly enjoyed the plot.

I will say that it is a 35-hour long book. It takes a lot of time to read through and listen. The plot takes a while to take shape and there are many characters to follow with many different stories. I will admit that I got lost a few times and had to remind myself who was who and who was in love with whom.

Dorothea was an interesting character and the introduction of the book was in fact quite feminist. In the discussion of how women were expected to behave and what was expected of them. I got annoyed with a few characters who I thought were ridiculous and had no clue about how the real world worked. Just out of touch with reality.

I am going to look for more books by George Eliot in the future.

Pizza Appreciation

I love pizza.

It is a well-known fact among my family and friends that I love pizza. I would eat pizza multiple times a week if allowed. Typically when I go to pick out a restaurant none of my friends are surprised when I pick a pizza place.

One of my close friends gave me a keychain that has pusheen eating pizza because I love cats and pizza. I have a mug from a friend that says "but first pizza."

I enjoy watching documentaries about pizza and learning about different pizza cultures that exist in the world.

This picture of The Pizza Bible is from when my best friend and I went on a road trip and came across the book in a restaurant. It was very interesting to flip through and learn about different types of pizza.

What is one of your food obsessions?

Ruth by Elizabeth Gaskell

I picked this book out from because I loved North & South by Elizabeth Gaskell and had also read Mary Barton. I will say that Ruth was a much more somber a moralistic tale. I think the fact that Elizabeth Gaskell was the wife of a parson and cared deeply about matters of faith comes through in this book.

Ruth is what in Victorian times would be called a "fallen woman". She makes choices that place her in the company of a man who only seeks to use her. The rest of the story is the story of her redemption and repentance. It was interesting for me to read it as a tale of Christian morality in  Victorian England.

It was interesting for me as well to think about it as an Orthodox Christian. Elizabeth Gaskell was protestant belonging to the church of England but there were many ideas that I could agree with.

In a feminist perspective, this novel would not be seen favorably, but I think feminist should still also read it because it can provide a better understanding of women's experiences in the past being a novel about a Victorian woman by a Victorian woman. That in and of itself being a novel by a woman and about women would be interesting to read.

Skeptical of Audio Dramatizations?

I will admit that I was unsure of audiobook dramatizations. I know that radio dramatizations existed in the past and were very popular but I just wasn't sure if I would like them.

Well, audible was doing a deal to pick out a free book for members and I decided to bite the bullet and pick up the audio dramatizations of Emma. Emma Thompson was in it so I was sure that that would make it good. However, I have a history of struggle with Emma. It is probably the most difficult of Jane Austen's novels for me to get into. I have tried multiple times to read the physical book and have gotten maybe 2 chapters in and just couldn't anymore. I have watched movies and mini-series of the story and enjoyed them.

I have to say I was impressed with this dramatization. I very thoroughly enjoyed it. It has made me want to find more audio dramatizations and an audiobook of Emma. I loved it so much that when I had to get out of my car to head inside to work I was disappointed.

If you were skeptical of audio dramatizations or struggle with Emma like me or are a Jane Austen lover,  I would highly recommend this particular audio dramatization to you.

Review: The Savior's Champion

After reading Jenna's first book Eve: The Awakening, I knew I needed to read her next book that was a fantasy novel. I was so pumped for this book and I wasn't disappointed.

This book is so diverse with so many different characters. I adored Tobias. I did want to know a little more about the world this book was taking place in. Like more about the history of the savior and perhaps more about the fictional country, but I am hoping to get more of that in the sequel that Jenna is writing.

My absolute favorite thing about this book though was the consent scene. I didn't know how much I needed to see consent so explicitly written into a story until I read this. I wanted to cry. There wasn't a big deal made about it it just happened. Why do more books not have consent written into them? We need that. this alone puts it onto a feminist reads list.

I will admit that I skimmed the fight scenes. I know Jenna likes to write more gory and intense fight scenes. They are not my thing and not something I go out of my way to find in a book, but the rest of the book is so good that I didn't feel annoyed with those scenes. I just skimmed them for details and then dug into the juicy parts I wanted to sink my teeth into.

On a different note as a dyslexic person, I am so proud of myself for making through a 500-page novel. I never thought that would happen.

A Reader?

In the past few years, I have felt guilty about identifying as a reader. I have gone through a really bad reading slump that lasted a few years. I just could not bring myself to read any books. I wanted to read but just couldn't do it. I loved books and still felt that how much I loved books defined who I am as a person but because I wasn't reading anything or reading very much I felt like I wasn't a true reader.

Even now I struggle with thinking of myself as a reader. I do not read very quickly and with how busy I am it is hard for me to sit down and read a book. I primarily read by listening to audio books. Do I still count as a reader? Can I still claim that identity?

The reality is that there are no reader police. There are people who can be a bit snobbish in the reading world but they do not get to decide who is and who is not a reader. I love books. I still read books. A long reading slump doesn't change that identity. My primarily reading through audio books doesn't change that I am a reader. I get to decide I am a reader. I love to talk about books with other people. It is still a primary way that I build friendships with people.

Have you struggled with identifying as a reader?

Review: The Last Queen

I have not read anything by C. W. Gortner before and while I had heard of Juana La Loca before I had not paid much attention to her. I am extremely disappointed in not look into her story sooner. This book was just wonderful. I originally checked this book out from the library but I loved it so much that I just had to purchase myself a physical copy.

Juana is written as such a relatable character one you so want to succeed and see her be triumphant but I know her story from history and I know how it ends for her. It just broke my heart. I so wanted an ending that was a happily ever after and totally not historically founded.

This book is so well researched and Gortner provides a wonderful historical note of what he did change to make the plot flow better. I always enjoy historical fiction that is well researched much better than poorly researched.

There are a lot of fascinating feminist themes about women and women who were in positions of power historically and how men treated them and how they were undermined. This goes on my list of feminist reads.

This book does come with a trigger warning for sexual assault and domestic violence.