Meal Prep

I am working a job, going to grad school, and also vegetarian/pescetarian. Make ahead meals are a good plan. Having frozen dinners and then saving leftovers for lunches is important. I struggle to make sure I eat healthy and nutritional food. But I shied away from doing make-ahead meals for one. It felt weird. But I was wrong.

I will admit that I have no idea how to cook for just one person. Also, it is just way easier to make a bunch of food at once. It makes a few dinners and some lunches for work.

If you are going to be getting into make-ahead meals you need to look into pyrex. They have great sized pans for smaller portions when you are making meals for just one or two people. The glassware is also perfect for the microwave at work or to pop stuff in the oven. It is just convenient and versatile. I also created a recipe for bean taco filling which is so delicious I would eat it all the time. My other favorite is a 3 bean chili I made that was just delicious and froze well to have for lunches later. I need to find a lot more recipes for vegetarian or vegan meals.  Vegetarian for most of the year and vegan meals to have during Lent.

Currently, my only struggle is to figure out how to do dinners when I have class from 6:30pm-9pm. It is just a weird time and I am trying to not eat out or eat as much junk food.

Do you meal prep?

Classism, Unions, And North & South

I love North & South. I first watched the 2005 miniseries and then I read the book. I love both versions and think the miniseries conveyed the essence of the novel very well. What most intrigued though when I first watched the show wasn't the romance. Not that the romance didn't interest me or wasn't good, but it wasn't what made North & South just top notch. What made me love North & South was the discussion of labor unions and conversations about class.

If you are unfamiliar with North & South it is set in Milton during the industrial revolution. Specifically, Milton is a town that is made up of multiple cotton mills that are run by a few rich men and then most of the lower classes work for them. The conflict that happens in the book is that mill workers go on strike specifically facilitated by the union leader Nicolas Higgins. The strike is eventually broken but the mill owners are wary of those involved in the union and specifically the leaders. Eventually, Nicolas Higgins and Mr. Thornton (main male protagonist) come to see eye to eye and understand each other. Mr. Thornton is made to better understand the plight of the workers and Higgins becomes less of a radical union leader.

That Higgins seems to compromise his beliefs about workers rights in favor of supporting "masters" more irks me. I can theorize that Elizabeth Gaskell wouldn't want to incite any strong communist leanings and could probably be understood and more of a centrist. She wanted "masters" to treat laborers better but laborers should know their place in society.

As a young teenager, I didn't particularly understand the labor movement or the purpose but reading this book helped me to understand the labor movement and the need for workers rights. That the "masters" lived in luxury and style while their workers struggled to survive in cesspits of filth is abominable. That the "masters" also willfully ignore their worker's struggles and don't listen to the idea that well-fed and well-treated workers make for an overall better profit is frustrating. The themes and ideas from this novel are still relevant today in a society that is more and more anti-union and anti-workers rights.

Review: To Kill A Kingdom

This book originally caught my eye because it was described as a Little Mermaid retelling. I love the Little Mermaid and have loved it since I was a little girl, so of course, I was interested in this book. I will say that the resemblance to the little mermaid is very slight and I would say that the Little Mermaid was more a jumping off point for the story because it is completely its own story and I LOVED it.

The main characters are Lyra who is the daughter of the Siren queen and Elyan who is a prince but also a pirate/siren hunter. Through a series of events, Lyra is punished by her mother and turned into a human and ends up on Elyan's ship with his crew. I don't want to spoil too much of the book but that is the basic framework of the story.

I listened to this book on Audible and I have to say that that also impacted my experience of the book because it was read by two different people for the two different perspectives. The woman who read for Lyra was just amazing. When she read the title of the chapters which was always the name of the character it set the tone of the chapter. When toward the end her reading of the name conveyed urgency and emotion.

The story was quick paced and also explores what it means to be human and also what love is. The is a lot of political drama happening as well. The romance that is in the story is important and part of the plot but I wasn't put off by that. I think it actually added to the richness of the story.

Overall this book was amazing and I would highly recommend picking it up and the audiobook version from Audible is wonderful.

Make Up & Feminism

I know that sometimes there can be anti-makeup feelings in feminism which I understand. Women being expected to wear makeup to be beautiful for men and to conform to western beauty standards. In some areas of the world, women need to wear makeup in order to be considered dressed "professional" for the workplace. The makeup and beauty industry thrives on the insecurity of women and can create competition and rivalry. It is all a problem and all are issues feminism should address.

However, feminism is much more complicated than just not doing something because it isn't feminist or what have you. wearing makeup is a choice and feminism is about choices. If a woman wants to wear makeup then that is her choice. She makes that choice for her own desire not because she feels she has to or is expected to. The choice is key.

On a different side of the coin, I found that in certain fundamentalist groups makeup was frowned upon. It was seen as a way to lead men into sin. It is something that is vain and a truly godly woman would never wear makeup. I have been in a long term detox from this movement since my family left it and became Orthodox. First I started wearing pants, then shifting my fashion sense and becoming feminist. Now recently in the last year, I started wearing makeup. It is a choice and for me, the choice is a feminist choice. I am making a choice that goes against the patriarchal movement I grew up in.

I will say that I don't do a particularly dramatic makeup look. I favor a more French philosophy and go for a more natural look. I keep it simple, with lipstick, mascara, and brows. Maybe some eyeliner. I like being able to do it quickly and it makes me happy.

What are your thoughts on makeup?

An Open Book

I have anxiety. I struggled with it for a while before finally going to my doctor and talking about it. She was wonderful and prescribed meds and referred me to a therapist. I was a bit nervous about taking medication but I have to say that it has greatly improved my quality of life.

I am a big advocate for medication if you want to do it for your mental health and as long as you work with your health care provider. Someone asked me why I decided to do meds when I was such a hippie kind of person. The answer is this. If I could have knocked my anxiety out with lavender oil and meditation and all the other hippie and homeopathic remedies for anxiety I would have. But they were not working. Some of the use to work as a coping skill but they stopped because my anxiety got to a point when I could no longer self-manage it.

I was averaging 3-4 panic attacks a week and one day had 4 in one day just one after the other. It was exhausting. I was anxious all the time and if I wasn't anxious I was exhausted from being anxious. I also had a lot of fears about things some more irrational than others and it was much harder to reason with my brain that my thinking was irrational when I was so anxious about everything.

I also don't like the particular faith groups who say that you should just pray and it will all be better. If that were true I would be able to teach on how to pray away a panic attack but it doesn't work like that. Yes, I find prayer to be soothing and can help to calm me down now, but I am not already highly wired on anxiety. It is helpful as a way to cope but not as a solution or cure.

Now on medication, I have been able to do things and function in life in ways I didn't even realize were possible. I didn't know that not everyone felt on the verge of a panic attack looking at a syllabus for the class. I didn't know that most people didn't experience anxiety when going through a drive-through. It is a whole new world.

Favorite Reads

I read several books last year but I have to say that my top three favorites were The Savior's Champion, Crooked Kingdom, and Blood Water Paint.

The reason these three I have chosen as my top three favorites from the last year are how they have stood out and how I still think about them.

Crooked Kingdom stood out to be because spoiler it made me cry. I was upset. I still haven't quite got over the ending. It also stood out to me because of the ideas around prejudice and changing one's perspective and ideas about another group of people. The diverse cast of characters is also something I think about a lot. I hold it up as an example of books should be diverse. I hope to read more books with just as many diverse and wonderful characters.

The Savior's Champion stands out to me because mainly that fantastic concent scene. I am still not over it. It just blew me away. It is hard to not be spoiled for any other book and how other author's write about consent. I also really enjoyed the plot of the story and am very excited for the next book the Jenna is writing.

Where to even begin with Blood Water Paint? It is just so unapologetically feminist in every page that I still think about individual quotes. I think about the feminist retellings of Judith and Susanna. I also loved reading Artemesia's voice as she tells her story and the challenges she faced. I loved how the author moved between telling the story in prose and poetry.

What have been your top 3 favorite books from the past year?

Tea, Coffee, & Jesus

I have a wonderful friend who gave me this mug that is probably a perfect expression of who I am. I love Jesus and I also love coffee. However, in the picture, I am drinking a spiced citrus tea. I love all kinds of hot drinks.

My faith means a lot to me and I strive to follow it. I often feel like I fall very short in that aspect. I know I do not pray nearly as much as I should. I want to read more scripture or theological books but again I struggle to make those goals. There are so many ways I want to be better in my faith. I am afraid though that perhaps if I do start to pray better or read devotionals more that I will become proud and puffed up which I won't say I don't struggle with pride now.

I love being an Orthodox Christian and going to confession. I don't have to struggle alone. I can first of all find healing in the sacrament of confession and through a priest, I can find advice and spiritual support. Most of all I love the whole community of being an Orthodox Christian. We do liturgy together. We cannot do services as individuals they are meant to be done and have to be done as a community. We all participate in Eucharist together in community.

No....Sorry Not a Feminist Story

I don't remember where I heard about this story but I was interested in fairytale retellings and this story is a Red Ridinghood retelling. I thought it would be great, there were werewolves which harkens back to some of the oldest versions of the fairytale. It also popped up as being mentioned as a possible feminist read. Honestly, I have never been so disappointed in my life over a book.

Where do I start?

First, let's start with the older sister and her friendship with the 18 almost 20 something-year-old dude. They seemed close it seemed like a logical romantic pairing. But The older sister is disfigured from a werewolf attack as a child. I thought this would be great let's show how disability or conventional beauty doesn't matter. Wrong. Instead at the end of the story, the older sister goes off to happily hunt werewolves by her lonesome. Supposedly this is best for her. I just was so disappointed. Rather than the older sister learning to open up to others and to allow herself to be open to love from another she is just sent off and shooed out of the story to make way for the "real" romantic pairing.

Now we get to the part I really hate. The younger sister. She is around 13 I think in the book and so hyper-sexualized. She also has a crush on the older boy. I say boy but really he is a man a full grown adult. I at first thought okay harmless crush happens. I also as a 13-year-old had crushes on much older dudes but knew nothing would ever happen and that any actual relationship would be wildly inappropriate. Not in this story. Nope. In fact, the two actually "fall in love" with each other. There is no mention whatsoever of the huge age gap or the fact that their relationship is actually illegal in some states. I just could not believe what I was reading.

This book disappointed me on so many levels. It had the opportunity to explore so many much more appropriate and different ideas. I also felt lied to that this would be a feminist read. It was really the opposite.

Review: Furyborn

I keep going back and forth on whether to continue with this series or not. I have to admit it was the hardest book for me to finish. Currently, my plan is to try and continue on audiobook but if the next books never make it to audiobook I don't think I will continue otherwise.

First off, the worldbuilding is fantastic, and the whole concept is really very original. The idea of it was what made me fascinated and want to read it in the first place. Blood Queen and Sun Queen, angels and saints, magic, and all that jazz. It is a well-constructed world. The characters not so much.

I didn't like Elyana. I have no patience for her. I think what frustrated me was that we are told she killed people and did the terrible things she did to survive but I wasn't really shown that. It made it hard for me to believe. Also if she had that kind of talent why not use it to fight the empire in a gorilla warfare kind of way? It wasn't clear to me why she made the choices she did. We were also told that at heart she is a good person but all I ever saw was a selfish person who was willing to sacrifice the lives of hundreds of people who were fighting for a cause of justice just because she couldn't deal with facing the suffering of people and selfishly wanted to just do her own thing. I just have not patience for that kind of character.

As for Rielle, I actually related to her way more. She seemed like a much more complicated and interesting character and I actually felt like her actions told me more about her as a person. Where we are told things with Elyana but never shown all of Rielle is shown through her actions. I want to like this book so bad but I disliked one of the main characters so much that it makes it hard for me to want to continue reading.

Another thing that irritated me is Elyana not believing the "big reveal" when it is revealed to her. Honestly, I knew it by chapter 3. So for a character to not believe and willfully not is just irritating as a reader. It is so obvious to literally the reader and every other character but Elyana didn't want the believe it and flat out refused.

Have you read Furyborn? What did you think?